White House Shocker! President Obama Steals Hillary Clinton’s iPad

December 7, 2011 10:59 am 0 comments

WASHINGTON – Reports of trouble brewing between President Obama and Hillary Clinton have been spreading like wild fire from reliable sources inside the beltway. Washington insiders say the rumors have the potential of erupting into a full blown scandal.

On Thursday, Hillary and Bill Clinton attended an informal luncheon at the White House with President Obama, Vice President Biden and prominent Washington VIPs. Prior to the lunch, as the guests gathered in the Oval Office, Secretary of State Clinton’s iPad went missing. When a quick search did not result in its discovery, Mrs. Clinton assured everyone that her iPad would turn up and insisted there was no cause for concern. It was roughly an hour later, as Mrs. Clinton enjoyed a nostalgic stroll around the White House, that Vice President Biden pulled her aside with some astonishing news of her missing iPad.

A White House staff member, who was straightening a painting on a hallway wall, heard Biden call out to Secretary of State Clinton.

“Vice President Biden furtively approached Mrs. Clinton, looked around suspiciously and whispered in her ear. Suddenly Mrs. Clinton’s face drained of color and she yelled out, What the f*ck? Obama stole my God damned iPad?? The Vice President nervously shushed Mrs. Clinton and pulled her through a side exit door.”

A Biden staff member said the Vice President had been approached by Bill Clinton a few minutes earlier and told that he had proof that President Obama had pilfered Hillary’s iPad.

“President Clinton told Biden that when he arrived at the White House he noticed that President Obama was anxiously flitting about the Oval Office, seemingly unable to stay focused, like he was extremely distracted. Mr. Clinton assumed the President was under enormous tension about the stagnant economy until, much to his dismay, President Obama abruptly grabbed Mrs. Clinton’s iPad, slipped it under his arm and bolted through a side-door that led into the Rose garden!” The staffer said President Clinton took chase after President Obama.

“Mr. Clinton slipped out the door after Obama, scurrying in the bushes along side the walkway in a reconnaissance manner. When he caught up to the President, Clinton was able to snap a picture with his iPhone before Obama disappeared through a door that, apparently, Mrs. Obama’s mother was holding open for her son-in-law to escape through.”

Later, as they sat together during a puppet performance on the South Lawn, President Clinton informed the Vice President that Obama had stolen Mrs. Clinton’s iPad and that he had a photograph to prove it.

The Daily Rash obtained a copy of the photograph and it does appear to show an apprehensive President Obama carrying an iPad as he scurries away from the Oval Office. The look on the President’s face gives the impression that he suspects someone may be observing him from the bushes. Witnesses say the Vice President was skeptical about Obama’s involvement, even after he saw the photograph, but when Clinton asked if President Obama owned an iPad, Biden sighed heavily and mournfully shook his head no

Later that evening a livid Hillary Clinton glared at President Obama as he spoke during a White House fundraiser. Several of her aides said they’d never seen her that angry.

“I’ve seen Secretary Clinton angry many times, but this is something else! This is blue dress angry! I mean, she’s pissed!”

An aide said that President Obama became aware of Hillary’s vindictive demeanor and began asking staff members if they knew “what Hillary’s problem was.” At the end of the evening the President appeared to up the ante when he told reporters that his Mother-in-law had given him a new Apple iPad. He looked defiantly at Mrs. Clinton and told reporters that his Mother-in-law had left that morning for an extended European vacation and thus, was not available for comment.

After several requests for comment, the Clintons have yet to respond to The Daily Rash.

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