White House Shocker! President Obama Steals Hillary Clinton’s iPad

December 7, 2011 10:59 am 0 comments

WASHINGTON – Reports of trouble brewing between President Obama and Hillary Clinton have been spreading like wild fire from reliable sources inside the beltway. Washington insiders say the rumors have the potential of erupting into a full blown scandal.

On Thursday, Hillary and Bill Clinton attended an informal luncheon at the White House with President Obama, Vice President Biden and prominent Washington VIPs. Prior to the lunch, as the guests gathered in the Oval Office, Secretary of State Clinton’s iPad went missing. When a quick search did not result in its discovery, Mrs. Clinton assured everyone that her iPad would turn up and insisted there was no cause for concern. It was roughly an hour later, as Mrs. Clinton enjoyed a nostalgic stroll around the White House, that Vice President Biden pulled her aside with some astonishing news of her missing iPad.

A White House staff member, who was straightening a painting on a hallway wall, heard Biden call out to Secretary of State Clinton.

“Vice President Biden furtively approached Mrs. Clinton, looked around suspiciously and whispered in her ear. Suddenly Mrs. Clinton’s face drained of color and she yelled out, What the f*ck? Obama stole my God damned iPad?? The Vice President nervously shushed Mrs. Clinton and pulled her through a side exit door.”

A Biden staff member said the Vice President had been approached by Bill Clinton a few minutes earlier and told that he had proof that President Obama had pilfered Hillary’s iPad.

“President Clinton told Biden that when he arrived at the White House he noticed that President Obama was anxiously flitting about the Oval Office, seemingly unable to stay focused, like he was extremely distracted. Mr. Clinton assumed the President was under enormous tension about the stagnant economy until, much to his dismay, President Obama abruptly grabbed Mrs. Clinton’s iPad, slipped it under his arm and bolted through a side-door that led into the Rose garden!” The staffer said President Clinton took chase after President Obama.

“Mr. Clinton slipped out the door after Obama, scurrying in the bushes along side the walkway in a reconnaissance manner. When he caught up to the President, Clinton was able to snap a picture with his iPhone before Obama disappeared through a door that, apparently, Mrs. Obama’s mother was holding open for her son-in-law to escape through.”

Later, as they sat together during a puppet performance on the South Lawn, President Clinton informed the Vice President that Obama had stolen Mrs. Clinton’s iPad and that he had a photograph to prove it.

The Daily Rash obtained a copy of the photograph and it does appear to show an apprehensive President Obama carrying an iPad as he scurries away from the Oval Office. The look on the President’s face gives the impression that he suspects someone may be observing him from the bushes. Witnesses say the Vice President was skeptical about Obama’s involvement, even after he saw the photograph, but when Clinton asked if President Obama owned an iPad, Biden sighed heavily and mournfully shook his head no

Later that evening a livid Hillary Clinton glared at President Obama as he spoke during a White House fundraiser. Several of her aides said they’d never seen her that angry.

“I’ve seen Secretary Clinton angry many times, but this is something else! This is blue dress angry! I mean, she’s pissed!”

An aide said that President Obama became aware of Hillary’s vindictive demeanor and began asking staff members if they knew “what Hillary’s problem was.” At the end of the evening the President appeared to up the ante when he told reporters that his Mother-in-law had given him a new Apple iPad. He looked defiantly at Mrs. Clinton and told reporters that his Mother-in-law had left that morning for an extended European vacation and thus, was not available for comment.

After several requests for comment, the Clintons have yet to respond to The Daily Rash.

Leave a Reply


Trackbacks

Other News

  • Christian Persecution World Russia Declares ‘Holy War’ On Islamic State

    Russia Declares ‘Holy War’ On Islamic State

    The Orthodox Christian Church, which is reclaiming its traditional role in post-Soviet Russia, has just described its government’s fight against the Islamic State and other jihadi groups in Syria as a “holy war.”

    According to Vsevolod Chaplin, head of the Church’s Public Affairs Department,

    The fight with terrorism is a holy battle and today our country is perhaps the most active force in the world fighting it. The Russian Federation has made a responsible decision on the use of armed forces to defend the People of Syria from the sorrows caused by the arbitrariness of terrorists. Christians are suffering in the region with the kidnapping of clerics and the destruction of churches. Muslims are suffering no less.

    This is not a pretext to justify intervention in Syria.

    Read more →
  • 2nd Amendment Faith Oregon Shooting – When Tragedy Happens Let’s Focus On The Cause And Not The Tools Used

    Oregon Shooting – When Tragedy Happens Let’s Focus On The Cause And Not The Tools Used

    While the blood was still dripping from those martyrs who, in front of an evil man armed with a gun, asked them if they were Christians and those strong in the faith said they were. He shot them in the head. While those who were lost or weak said nothing he spared their lives and shot them in their legs.

    Barrack Hussein Obama angrily ran to the cameras to use this opportunity to say that guns being in the hands of the law-abiding Americans is the problem, and we need to restrict the 2nd amendment to spare the lives of “we the people.”

    This is nuts; guns do not kill people, people kill people! You can test this fact in your own home right now. (Do not worry no one will get hurt).

    Read more →
  • 2nd Amendment Faith Gun Free Zones Are Killing Zones

    Gun Free Zones Are Killing Zones

    How did you feel when you heard of the shootings in Oregon this week? Was the first thing that came to your mind the thought that if we only had stricter gun control legislation, this kind of tragedy could have been prevented?

    If you listened to idiotic liberals, like President Barack “Insane” Obama, you might believe that. It is my contention that liberalism is a mental disorder based on the rejection of God and His principles, and extreme irresponsibility.

    Read more →
  • National Where’s the Beef, in Republican candidates, in 2015?

    Where’s the Beef, in Republican candidates, in 2015?

    What type of Republican Leader do you want in 2015?

    As we look at elections coming up quickly in 2015, as well as the very important 2016 election cycle, what type of “Republican” leaders do you want to shape the future of your county and country?

    Do you ever wonder why it is that the current crop of Republicans are not declaring, at every media interview, “These ills have been brought to you by the Democrat Party!” when speaking of Obamacare, the hordes of immigrants being allowed to destroy our country, the Iranian nuclear treaty, the “Black Lives Matter” racial division rhetoric, the attack on the defense of marriage, the 94 million Americans not currently in the work force,

    Read more →
  • National Child protection services Sentences Baby To Death ON 9/11/2015

    Child protection services Sentences Baby To Death ON 9/11/2015

    Child protection services should be self-explanatory based on the simplicity of its name. But they are doing exactly opposite of their name in many places. Wynne, Arkansas is one such place.

    A baby has been sentenced to death and will be executed on Friday, September 11, 2015 and Arkansas Department of HUMAN SERVICES (DHS) – Division of Children and Family Services- Central Office will facilitate the delivery of the baby’s 10-year-old to the abortion clinic.

    On August 29, 2015 20-year-old Justin Smith was arrested and charged with three counts of rape and one count of endangering the welfare of a minor. His “alleged” victim is a 10-year-old.

    Read more →