A Presidential Paean To Pork

July 20, 2012 5:49 pm 0 comments

Good ol Pork

With sincere apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning –

How do I love thee, pork?  Let me count the ways!

  • I love thee pork because my love proves I’m not a Muslim; they consider pork unclean.
    • Muslims also consider dogs unclean; the First Family includes a requisite “First Dog”.

I love thee pork because you include love by commission and love by omission, e.g. my successful “Affordable Care Act”:

  • Commission
    • $300 million to a Democrat Senator from LA
    • A federal judgeship to the brother of a previously-wavering Democrat Congressman
    • Quid pro quo for AARP who agreed to Congress slashing Medicare Advantage plans in order to preserve AARP sponsored insurance
    • Countless hidden pork payoffs that may be revealed by the time “health care reform” kicks in but not by mainstream U.S. news media.
  • Omission
    • Labor unions – delayed taxes on “Cadillac insurance policies” probably never to be implemented
    • Trial lawyers – absence of tort reform on medical malpractice suits

I thee love pork because, starting with stimulus funds, you are the glue binding Democrat members of Congress to me on every issue dear to U.S. residents who care not what they can do for this country but what I can do for them with additional entitlements for which others will pay or payment will be deferred to future generations.

I love thee pork till death do us part, and if God chooses, I shall but love the better after death.

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