Obama Releases Long Form Birth Certificate After Spending A Fortune Hiding It

After spending a fortune in legal fees to avoid it’s release, and wasting years of our time with this issue, Barack Obama has finally decided to release a long form birth certificate .

Being a natural born citizen is a constitutional requirement of all US presidents, but until today Obama has referred the topic as being “silly” and “distracting”. It isn’t “silly” for the American people to know that their president is legally qualified for the job, but it is distracting for a president to spend an estimated $200,000 to $2,000,000 in legal fees trying to avoid the issue.

Journalists and bloggers are excited about this news, but will we ever truly know if this document is authentic due to the mystery that Obama has created around it? Do liberals love spending money so much that they would rather play legal games with an issue as simple as releasing a birth certificate, or was there a reason that Obama wants to keep his birth certificate, college records, and other documents under wraps?

White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer said the administration decided to release the full document in response to mounting questions about the president’s birth. He noted that what started as Internet chatter had moved into the national political debate and ended up being discussed regularly on mainstream news outlets.

The document lists Obama’s birthplace as Honolulu, Hawaii, and his birth date as Aug. 4, 1961. The hospital listed is Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital. The name on the birth certificate is Barack Hussein Obama II.

Wasn’t it much easier to just release this document than to spend a fortune hiding it? I predict that this disussion isn’t over. The Smoking Gun is already pointing out areas of the birth certificate that will interest nonbelievers, and readers c0mments are already pointing out possible Photoshop edits throughout the document:

So here’s a few nutty points about the birth certificate sure to be seized upon by the nonbelievers:

• If the original document was in a bound volume (as reflected by the curvature of the left hand side of the certificate), how can the green patterned background of the document’s safety paper be so seamless?

• Why, if Obama was born on August 4, 1961, was the “Date Accepted by Local Reg.” four days later on August 8, 1961?

• What is the significance of the smudges in the box containing the name of the reported attendant?

• In the “This Birth” box there are two mysterious Xs above “Twin” and “Triplet.” Is there a sibling or two unaccounted for?

• What is the significance of the mysterious numbers, seen vertically, on the document’s right side?

• Finally, the “Signature of Local Registrar” in box 21 may be a desperate attempt at establishing the document’s Hawaiian authenticity. Note to forgers: it is spelled “Ukulele.”


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